Are you drinking your eight glasses of water a day? I am, so if you’re looking for me, you’ll likely find me in the bathroom. Sort of just kidding.

But still, each day I fill my liter carafe, drink the water and repeat. Day after day. I try to drink three carafes, but generally it’s more like two and half. It’s roughly the equivalent of a small pond or eight - ten 8 oz glasses.

Why do I do this?

Lately I've been thinking about how I want to move forward and it seems I have lots of ideas. But when I start to take action, I find I’m talking myself out of the idea that just moments before was really exciting. Does this happen to you?

This is when I remind myself it’s time to go within and find what I'm holding onto that’s bringing up these self-sabotaging thoughts. There’s always something hanging out in my subconscious that holds the answer. For me, and for a great many of us, it’s a fear of thinking we’re not enough.

I’ve found over time that a combination of meditative exploration and writing have helped me dig deep to reveal those little, albeit loud and sometimes brash, voices hanging out in my subconscious mind.

How did they get in there?

Happy New Year!

Did you have a new year’s resolution this year? I didn’t. There’s a reason for that. I never seem to be able to keep them.

I remember one year when I was a teenager, I resolved to stop biting my fingernails. I bit them down to the quick with great ferocity. My mother would bribe me to stop. Once when I needed a new pair of nylon stockings, she told me I could have the pair she had gotten me as a birthday gift if I promised to stop biting my fingernails.

“Okay” I said.

I got the stockings, but couldn’t stop biting my fingernails.

     It had been a tough morning and the day never improved. Jenny had arrived late to work having spent too much time trying to get her hair just right.
     “Damn it” she yelled as she slammed the hairdryer onto the vanity.
     “Why do I have to deal with this every single day? Why can’t I have hair that just does what I tell it?”
     Even before she had opened her eyes the day started going downhill. Jenny started thinking about her weight.
    What was the scale going to say this morning?

Life is interesting. We’re presented with so many ups and downs, good days and bad days.

I tend to have challenging days and a lack of patience is my biggest challenge. I can screw up a perfectly good day by being impatient. With the help of my husband, I’ve started to come to terms with being patient mainly because he’s impatient with my impatience.

When I was in my early twenties, I went on my first diet. I did it to support a friend and I ended up losing twenty plus pounds. That in itself didn’t start my dieting career though. It was the comment I received after the weight loss from a male acquaintance who I thought was a demi-god. He said I looked hot. And that’s how dieting became my new best friend.

How could that one statement have impacted me so? How could this one comment keep me dieting for the next 40 years? Let’s take a look, because that’s exactly what happened.

I’m a chocolate lover.

I like the bitter, melt in your mouth sensation that comes with the perfect piece of dark chocolate. It reminds me of a cup of Parisian hot chocolate.

There are any number of delicious chocolate bar manufacturers, but my favorite comes from Iceland.

When my husband and I decided to visit Iceland a few years ago, a tour of the chocolate factory was on our list. I won’t go so far as to say that’s the reason we went to Iceland, but I won’t deny it either.

On April 1st we have a new moon in Aries and since a new moon means the sun and the moon are together in the sky, the sun is also in Aries signifying an astrological new year. All of this is to say that we have new beginnings showing up all over the place.

My Aries birthday was this past weekend. I turned sixty-nine. Sixty-nine years of experience. Some of my experiences I wouldn’t wish on anyone, but some have been incredibly beautiful. I really feel like anyone who grew up in the 50’s, 60’s and 70’s deserves a medal and anyone who made it through the 80’s with their hair intact definitely deserves an award of some kind. I try not to dwell.

Do you remember the time in 1988 when Oprah Winfrey lost weight, and in her tiny body trapped in some very tight jeans, pulled a wagon full of fat onto the stage of her show?

The fat in the wagon represented the 67 pounds of fat she had dieted off her body. If you weren’t about to barf at the sight of a wagon full of fat, then you were probably pretty amazed. But it’s what happened next that got my attention.