I'll Try, and Then What?

“Thanks for taking these library books back for me.” I said to my friend.
“You’re welcome, I’ll try to take care of that for you.”
“Try?” I asked myself. Try?
“Do you think you won’t be able to?” I asked her.
“Oh, no, I’ll stop over this afternoon and drop them off.” She replied.
“Okay, thanks so much.”
 
There’s a big difference between try and will. When my friend said she’d try, she didn’t sound committed to making sure the books would be returned. If at first she’d said, “Yes, I will take them over this afternoon” there would have been no question. It’s a firm commitment of intention.

So many times when we say "I’ll try" to do something, we’re not fully committing. It’s a half-hearted commitment at best. Maybe I will do it, maybe I won’t. Maybe I’ll think about it. Maybe I’ll see if it’s convenient for me. There’s no commitment here.

“I will” is a strong and sturdy statement. It commits. When someone says “I will” you know for certain they will keep their word.

You can feel the difference between these two words. “I’ll try” and “I will.”

Words have meaning. They hold energy - our heart can feel it, our body can feel it, and our mind knows it.

The brain asks, “To what level of commitment is this task? Oh, it’s an I’ll TRY, okay I don’t have to commit energy to remembering to do it.” On the other hand, it can say, “Oh my gosh, it’s an I WILL! Better bring in the reinforcements. I’ll store this in conscious memory and check on it until it’s done.”

It’s important when we’re establishing new patterns that we say, as an example, “I will walk every day.” Because when we say, “I’ll try to walk every day”, we’re leaving open the possibility that the couch may look more inviting, sabotaging our opportunity to create new neural pathways.

Taking the words I’ll try and filling it out to I will try is taking I will and adding that extra word - try, telling the brain it’s not important enough to really commit to even if it's something you truly want to do.

You may not be aware of what you’re saying, but that smart mind of yours picks up on these nuances. If you’re truly committed, but keep using the word try, leave it off. Saying I WILL holds much more power.