There are times when I’m in the midst of an experience and I’ll say “Man, this is challenging.” Or I’ll say to someone, “that must have been challenging for you.”It seems like there might be a better word than challenging though because ‘challenge’ means either taking part in a competition with self or with others, being in an unjust or provoked situation.

When we look at events in our life as challenges, are we actually saying that they shouldn’t be happening to us? Do I really mean to say “this sucks, it’s not fair, it shouldn’t be this way?” Maybe so, but isn’t that putting up a wall to higher more loving possibilities?

I think I need to stop and think about this for a minute.
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Even though I gave up dieting eight years ago, I sometimes wonder if I should lose some weight. Why? Well, for starters it’s a concept that’s very ingrained in me.

I started my first official diet at the age of twenty-two, not because I needed to lose weight but because I was supporting a friend and losing a few pounds didn't sound half bad. We joined Weight Watchers and I ended up losing around 20 pounds. Man, did I look good, skinny with protruding hip bones – just like Twiggy who I had idolized in high school.

We all know the story though, lose weight, gain it back, lose it again, gain back more. Gosh, dieting became the thread that ran through the story of my life – for forty years.

You're an amazing woman and I'll tell you why. You're a unique, one of a kind superwoman who is the only person alive on planet earth who can be you.
Have you ever thought about what makes you unique? Let me start you off:

Have you ever thought about why you might want to change something? A tire, a diaper, a behavior? I don’t know a whole lot about changing a tire, which probably isn’t a good thing, but what I do know is you wouldn’t do it simply because you want to. You’d do it because you have to. The same with a diaper. A fresh diaper doesn’t need to be changed, but by golly, you definitely want to change a soiled one asap.

So, what about behaviors? When and why might you change those? I think the place to start is to suggest that as humans, we’re not set in stone. That is to say we’re dynamic. I think we can all agree that we’re not the same person we were as a small child or when we were in college, or even last week for that matter. We have experiences that impact and shape us.

The behaviors we learned when we were young insured our survival and that’s important. But are those same behaviors necessary when we’re older? Probably not. But for most of us, those survival behaviors are still with us and they are alive and well, showing up as triggers - sometimes when we least expect them.