A Tale of Not Good Enough
Have you ever experienced the feeling where you know in your heart you are perfectly capable of doing something yet you become paralyzed with fear at the thought of actually doing it?
Recently when I was in a bit of a funk, a period of days when nothing felt right, I sat down to meditate and ponder what was going on with me. I love inquiry so I started asking myself a series of questions. "What was causing me to start to question everything I was doing?" and "Why did everything suddenly seem so hard?"
I realized that life had been feeling pretty awesome for quite some time. But as is often the case, when the going gets good, Not Good Enough likes to get involved to let me know that, in its opinion, I'm getting a bit too big for my britches. It's a form of self sabotage.
I decided to have a conversation with Not Good Enough. I invited it to step forward, come into the present moment and make itself known so I could thank it for making me so miserable. Apparently this was an offer it couldn't refuse!
Why was I grateful? Because only when things became difficult for no apparent reason was I willing to step into the fire and explore what was going on, i.e., my feeling of not being good enough. When we can become explorers of ourselves, we start to find our strength.
What became clear to me from this conversation is that Not Good Enough is an illusion. It's a belief, made up from the stories and events of our life that we hold on to. There's nothing that says we have to hold on to these beliefs and they certainly don't have to define us - because they aren't real. The feeling of not being good enough is the ego's way of staying in control.
When I could see my situation from this perspective and decide that I was good enough, I found that I wasn't interested in being defined by something that wasn't aligned with love.
There is no way that we are anything less than good enough. You are unique, you are beautiful, and you are good enough! Doesn't that make your heart sing?
Being burdened by the belief of not being good enough is a choice although I will admit that stepping away from that choice can be scary. But in stepping away we can start living a life that is aligned with the truth of our deeper knowing and that is very cool!
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