Are you feeling nourished? For so many of us, the answer might be, “Are you crazy? I don’t have time for that.” We get busy taking care of those around us, at home or at work, forgetting to fill ourselves up.
But honestly, how many times have we been told we have to put our own oxygen mask on first, then tend to those around us? We can’t give what we don’t have. Whether it’s our attention, love, care, whatever. We need to be closer to full on the nourished needle than to empty. Self-care is nourishment. Remembering, and accepting, that you’re as important, if not more so, than anyone around you can be a challenge. We tend to think we need to go all out and be everything to everybody. But it’s not possible and especially not when you’re running on fumes.
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Argh. I went to see the Barbie movie last week and that song the Kens sing to all the Barbies started floating around in my head. As I have mentioned in the past I have a positive, life affirming song that I use as a replacement whenever this kind of situation presents itself. But oh my gosh.
“I’m going to push you around, yes I will, yes I will” “I am sacred, you are sacred, we are sacred ones”. After a few rounds, my life affirming song takes over and is fully in my head. I’m so grateful I have my go-to song. Can you imagine if I didn’t? Repeating Ken’s amazingly catchy tune over and over would start to imbed itself in my subconscious and once there, it can start to inform – subconsciously – my thoughts and actions. Not. What. I. Want. In the softness of your heart
Venus Her loving embrace Invites an opening An awakening of your truth Who are you When Venus expresses herself through you In many of my blog posts, I’ve written about our relationship with our bodies and body image. For me, this topic comes naturally having lived in the body image world since the day when I was twelve years old and noticed that my girlfriend’s knees were bony and mine were, let’s say, not bony.
I notice these kinds of things and question them which can sometimes get me into trouble. In this case, it’s not that it got me into trouble exactly, but rather it put me onto a path of noticing body types and deciding which ones I preferred and wanted to have. Because this attachment around body image has been with me for so long, I know how it feels to want what we naturally don’t have. To crave so intensely a body that is not mine. It’s painful and all encompassing. And that gets me wondering… According to the Labyrinth Society, labyrinths have been around for roughly 4000 years. Using sacred geometry, a labyrinth creates a resonance that brings us into a harmonic state with nature and life.
Personally, I hadn’t paid too much attention to them until several years ago when I was on a summer solstice retreat in Hawaii. On the retreat site outside of Hilo, was a huge seven circuit labyrinth with lines made from a series of volcanic and white beach rocks. At each line end was a statue of an angel and in the center was an altar of crystals placed by walkers from all around the globe. Placed upside down next to the altar was a green plastic chair and there was a volcanic fissure that either led into or out of the labyrinth, I'm not sure which. I loved this labyrinth and as we got to know each other, it offered me an experience I've never forgotten. I stand in front of the mirror, naked, looking at myself.
Who is this woman with the mounds of flesh that cover her bones? Where are the hip bones that once protruded, a marker that defined success? Where is that svelte body with the long, tanned legs that drew the eye upward to those protruding hip bones and flat stomach? How well do you know your body? I have to admit that for forty years, I didn’t know my body at all. I totally dismissed what my body wanted as I tried to control it so I could be thin. If I felt hunger pangs, I’d ignore them. Actually, I was a bit meaner than that and told my body I didn't trust it because if I fed it, it would just go and get fat.
I was so stressed about food and controlling myself to be thin for so many years, I had sort of turned into a tightly wound person, someone who was totally focused on what I looked like. But let’s face it, trying to be something we’re not is a lot of work. It’s takes a lot of energy and quite frankly, it can make for a very ego-centric person. Fortunately, the opportunity to learn about dieting and body image showed up in my life and I was able to see the mess I had created. I like to eat and feel full which is why restrictive dieting never worked for me, even though I insisted on trying to control my weight for forty years.
A salad could only take me so far toward feeling satiated. And, if I’m being honest, I learned to really, really dislike salads, all low-cal foods, and dieting in general. Which begs the question, when you don’t like something, if it brings forward feelings of loathing, why are you continuing to engage? Well, for me, it boiled down to that size six dress in my closet. Or maybe it was the pants that absolutely needed me to eat salads for lunch and dinner in order to fit. Truly, this is no way to eat nor is it any way to live. What’s your definition of abundance? Do you see yourself living in abundance now and in the future? If not, why not?
This was a question I posed in an earlier post. If you didn’t have a chance to read it, you can find it here. Many of us initially think of abundance as an overflowing of something, such as the abundance of rain we’ve had in the northeast or having so much money we could swim in it. But if we allow our perspective to shift a bit, we can see that having abundance means having what you need when you need it. A few weeks ago, before I went on a short break (which was lovely), I left you with some reflection questions. To recap, they were:
I know for myself, there have been times when I’ve seen my future-self doing something that I feel really passionate about, but it doesn’t seem possible. I only see obstacles such as I’d have to go back to school to learn more, can I afford it, who am I to think so big? If you can think it, you can do it. |
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